Keep that Pot from Boiling Over


Sustaining the Victory of Setting Realistic Expectations
by Katherine Pasour


I’ve always been an over-achiever—probably a remnant of childhood insecurities. This creates an issue of setting my own expectations too high. But, a far greater danger to relationships with friends and loved ones is when I set unrealistic and unachievable expectations for others. To inflict further harm—if my hurt and anger at their lack of achievement leads to verbal outbursts, undeserved criticism, or the “silent treatment” punishment, I cause long term brokenness in our relationship.


Early in our marriage, my husband and I experienced a crisis. Many factors led to this fracture, one of which was my unrealistic expectations of how a husband should meet the needs of his wife. A pattern of unfulfilled expectations created conflict and pain. With each broken promise, the simmering pot of my frustration got hotter. Steam began to rise as anger fueled the fire. My pot boiled over into confrontation and accusations.


We expect people to keep their commitments. But, what is our role in whether goals we expect of others are completed? What is our responsibility in setting realistic expectations?

victory, arguments, marriage, Keep that Pot from Boiling Over, Sustaining Life’s Victories, Katherine Pasour, Lighthouse Bible Studies

Sharing the Miracle of Heart Renovation


by Jennifer DeFrates, contributor to Heart Renovation

 

For a long time, God wasn’t real for me. I grew up believing in God and loving Him, but somewhere along the way, I lost sight of Him.

 

In high school, I had some very serious events affect how I saw myself and God. To me, the Bible became an authoritarian set of rules about how to behave and what was acceptable to God. I felt that being a Christian was about what I did or didn’t do, not who I was.

 

I even tried to walk away from my faith for a time. I was tired of living with the guilt of never being good enough for God based on my broken understanding of who He is, but God never let me go. He occasionally broke through my hard heartedness to remind me that I belonged to Him. However, I was never ready to hear Him clearly until I was ready to know Him truly.

Heart Renovation, Spiritual Growth, marriage, Humility, Jennifer DeFrates, small group Bible studies, Katy Kauffman, Lighthouse Bible Studies

Bible Outlines for Reading, Teaching, or Discussion Groups

Ephesians Ch. 5 Choose the pathways through life and observe the boundaries that are fitting for children of God.

v.1         Reflect in your walk, your Father’s heart and character.

v.2         Walk in Christ’s quality of love, which is an offering that is well pleasing to God.

v.3-5      Don’t violate God’s boundaries in deeds, desires, or words.

v.6-7      Don’t let anyone persuade you that walking in disobedience to God isn’t dangerous and costly.

v.8-10    Walk as children of light in all goodness, righteousness, and truth.

children of God, Ephesians, marriage, Jesus, Christ, God, Bible, Bible application, the word of God, Beebe Kauffman, Lighthouse Bible Studies, women's Bible studies, quiet time, teaching outlines of the Bible