The Anti-Barreling Mechanism of Self-Control

by Katy Kauffman

Crash. I had barreled ahead, straight into a “Caution: Wet floor” sign. The crash reverberated in the spacious hotel lobby, and I peeked around my huge luggage cart and hanging clothes which had blocked my view of the sign. A man was smiling at me. 

“Crazy woman driver,” he remarked.

Apparently, he witnessed the crash.

Instead of apologizing for the loud crash, I retorted, “Well, who do you think put that sign in the middle of the aisle?”

The man laughed, and I couldn’t help what came next. More words spilled out, “Now take it back.”

He laughed again, and said, “You’re right.”

As I loaded my luggage into my car, I wondered if I represented Jesus well since I barreled into self-defense mode. But what woman would let a male entity get away with that remark anyway?

The man brought out his own luggage cart to a vehicle near mine. When he saw me, he grinned. Apparently, no harm. No foul.

“The fruit of the Spirit is … self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV). I have always admired this character quality in others, and I know I need the Holy Spirit’s help to practice it. Self-control acts like an anti-barreling mechanism to keep us from plowing into angry words and actions. Maybe my response was tame or justified, but I can remember times when I overreacted to a little offense with a torrent of emotions and words.

What questions could we ask ourselves to hit the brakes on saying or doing something ungodly?

7 Questions to Help Us Hit the Brakes on Anger and Ungodliness

When we’re tempted to be ungodly, here are some questions that could help us not barrel into anger and react with its hasty remarks and actions.

1. Could God put His stamp of approval on saying this?
2. Would others know Jesus better if I choose this?
3. Would I want to be known as someone who does this?
4. Would I want to be treated this way?
5. Would this hurt someone I love or someone I know God loves (which is everyone)?
6. How could God work through this situation if I responded with gentleness instead of aggression (Proverbs 15:1, Philippians 4:5)?
7. In more serious situations, what is the other person going through that would cause them to provoke this response in me?

I couldn’t see where I was going when I smacked the luggage cart into that sign. But God helps us to see a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13) each time we’re provoked, if we’re willing to look for it.

Are we willing to take God’s way of escape out of temptation because we value Him and His ways? When we do depend on God’s Spirit to practice self-control, I believe it makes our heavenly Father smile.

Prayer

Dear Father, please help me to exercise self-control, so I don’t damage my relationships or my chance to shine for You. Help me to hit the brakes on hurtful words and actions. You and Your ways are worth choosing. Help me to slow down and seek Your perspective on a tense situation. Help others to see Your Spirit’s work within me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Discussion Points

In the comments, share your thoughts on these two questions.

1. Which of the seven questions above would help you to hit the brakes on anger?
2. What helps you to slow down and not barrel into self-defensiveness or overreacting?