Do You Still Want Me, God?

by Katy Kauffman

As the second tallest member of the girls’ basketball team, I felt needed. But it was my first year to play.

My church team of pre-teen girls had more experience than I had, and yet they needed me to play the forward position, using my height to catch rebounds. We made it all the way to the playoffs.

My debut in the championship game became the most embarrassing moment of my life. (Up to that point.) Not because I did something unforgiveable, but because of the despair I felt in disappointing my coach.

With only thirty seconds or less left in the game, the other team was about to take possession of the ball, and my coach made a gesture for me to catch the rebound. I misinterpreted his signal and called a time out.

My coach jerked his head and hands to his knees in disappointment and stood up straight again. Clearly exasperated. At his reaction, it felt like my heart plunged the depth of twenty stories like a gigantic Six Flags ride plunging its passengers to the earth.

I sat on the bench during the time out and didn’t hear his words. I just sat there stunned. Our point guard, Annabelle, who was one of our best players, patted me on the back and told me it was okay. I won’t forget her kindness.

We won the game anyway.

Since then, I have felt that plunge of despair more than once. Like when I promise God I won’t continue a bad habit, and I go right back to it. Or when I say a haphazard joke at a friend’s expense and regret it. Or when I put off something God wants me to do.

God, do You still want me on Your team?

Grace to the Rescue

Before the apostle Paul joined God’s team and became one of the world’s greatest missionaries, he persecuted the church. Known as Saul back then, he hunted for believers in Jesus, so he could put them in prison. He also consented to the stoning of God’s mighty preacher, Stephen (Acts 8:1-3).

And yet, Jesus still wanted him for His team.

On his way to arrest Christians in Damascus, Paul met Jesus who stopped him in his tracks. “Why are you persecuting Me?” Jesus asked him (Acts 9:4 NKJV). With an open heart, Paul embraced Jesus as the Savior whom Israel had been waiting centuries for, and he even preached Jesus in the synagogues where he would have arrested believers.

Paul went from being persecutor to preacher, and he credits the grace of God for his transformation and life’s work.

“By the grace of God I am what I am.” (1 Corinthians 5:10 NKJV)

God’s grace finds us when we need mercy and forgiveness, when we need power and guidance to do His will.

God and His grace transform us from the inside out and set us on a course to make a difference in the world around us. This transformation process will last until we graduate to heaven. If we stumble along the way, God doesn’t want us to wallow, but to get up, confess our failings, and move forward in life with Him.

The next time you have a blunder and wonder if God still wants you on His team, remember Paul’s story and say with him, “By the grace of God I am what I am.”

When we ask God if He still wants us, His answer will always be, “Absolutely.”