Don’t Exclude Forgiveness from the Good that You Do to Brothers and Sisters in Christ

by Beebe Kauffman

Someone offends us. The person hurts us or someone we love, or the wrong that was done costs us something. We hold onto the offense and turn the details over and over in our minds. Resentment grows.

Withholding forgiveness begins to build a prison around our hearts that shuts out mercy and obstructs reconciliation. It can escalate to shut out peace, joy, love, or even energy and enthusiasm for life. Being unforgiving keeps our thoughts focused on the harm, the hurt, the loss, or the injury, and the prison around our hearts gets stronger. It can eventually eclipse all the good in our lives and the many reasons to have joy, and leave us feeling weary, hostile, and displeased with life.

Not forgiving wrongs and offenses is like a self-inflicted slavery. We can get to the point where we don’t think or feel or act independently of the effects and influence of the offense. So the circumstances of the book of Philemon perfectly suit a discussion of this topic.

Philemon was the master, and Onesimus was the slave or servant in his household. After Onesimus ran away from service, he became a Christian. Paul knew him so well that he referred to him as “my son Onesimus” (Philemon v.10). Paul wrote Philemon to ask him to forgive Onesimus and accept him as a brother in Christ.

The book title and paragraph statements [for the book of Philemon] answer the following questions.

1. What two Christian virtues should be the hallmarks of how we treat our brothers and sisters in Christ?
2. How should we treat believers who wrong us?
3. What should we do with the debt that is owed to us because of an offense?
4. Why?
5. How should we relate to the offending person after the offense? …

The paragraph statements for Philemon encourage us to give one another our best. …

Philemon:

Don’t exclude forgiveness from the good that you do to brothers and sisters in Christ.

v.1-5  Have faith toward Jesus and love for all the saints.

v.6-7  Let the good that is in you because of your faith, be expressed to the saints.

v.8-11  Be profitable to those who were once unprofitable to you.

v.12-14  Be gracious to those who have wronged you.

v.15-17  Receive with love and respect the person who wronged you.

v.18-19  Put what anyone owes you against what we owe (the love and goodness of) God.

v.20-21  Obey God by having this grace toward someone who has wronged you.

v.22-25  Continue in love and fellowship with fellow laborers in Christ.

*This excerpt comes from Beebe Kauffman, A Whole Lot of Wonderful—Application of the New Testament for Today (Buford, Georgia: Lighthouse Bible Studies, 2018), 558-559, 561.